When Marcio and I first started dating it wasn't all peaches & cream! We met in Paris; he was there for a modelling job, and I had an internship at a posh hotel as a part of my training to become a professional chef. And what we first thought would just be just a Summer crush turned into something way more serious, so when the end of Summer was nearing, we were both devastated to move back to our hometowns - me to Belgium, him to Brazil. What followed was a weird period of feeling excited and happy because I was so in love versus down and sad because we were sooo far apart. 11 years (and our little baby boy!) later, it's safe to say we made it work. So if you find yourself in a similar situation right now, having met the love of your life on Summer vacation, don't dispair, because here are my 5 tips to make a long distance relationship work! Happy Summer lovin', everyone! :)
1 / DON'T PLAY GAMES
Yes, it can be a lot of fun to play those classic 'young love' games - you know, acting hard to get or particularly in demand :) - but if there's an ocean between the two of you, let's just say that just about sufficiently covers being actually hard to get. Things will likely be complicated enough as they are, so instead of playing games, play it smart: clear up your expectations from the very beginning, no matter how awkward or heavy that may feel. What's your level of commitment, and are you guys exclusive or not? And after having cleared that out, be truthful and don't do things of which you know it will likely upset the other one. Whether he's here or a million miles away, commitment is mostly a thing of the heart, so try not to forget that.
2 / CHILL OUT
There's nothing more straining for a new relationship than an overprotective partner. As a natural born control freak, this was actually one of the hardest things for me personally: it just felt so weird to give each other space when there was so much physical space between us. For us, it really helped to know each others' day-to-day schedules, and to be able to picture each other as normal human beings who were probably not spending their days hunting down other possible love interests. :) So no matter how hard it is, don't be overly possessive and for real, stop stalking his Instagram page (a problem we didn't have back then, ha!). Social media always give a distorted image of someone else's life, so instead of basing your perception of his days on that, just ask him about it and have a good old chat about it.
3 / LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
No matter how challenging a long distance relationship is, there are actually some pretty great elements about it too. So while you're missing each other like crazy, try to remember the fact that you'll have a lifelong guaranteed vacay spot (I hit the jackpot with Brazil there :)), together with the immense joy and enrichment the merge of 2 cultures can bring. Being away from each other is definitely the ultimate relationship test and will make your bond that much stronger!
4 / SHARE THE ORDINARY
You know that feeling when people ask you how your day has been and you totally blank, because you can't think of anything noteworthy that happened? That's totally normal, because unless you're Donald Trump, chances are that most of your days aren't filled with things that will be front page news tomorrow. However, it's sharing the little things that will make the other person feel involved, and what will eventually make you bond. So go ahead and send those pics and/or videos of your lunch, the new heels you bought, a great book you read, and your little family weekend beach trip. It will make you remember your similar interests, and why you fell in love with him in the first place!
5 / ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR NEXT VISIT IS PLANNED
Happy anticipation is key to make a long distance relationship work, so always always always make sure to have your next visit planned, so you can tape your plane ticket on your night stand, making sure it's the very first thing you see when you wake up alone. It makes your time apart feel so much less endless, and gives you both a clear goal. And when the happy reunion is finally there, believe me, it will all have been so worth it...
Have you ever had (or are you currently in) a long distance relationship? What were the things that helped you the most? I'm so curious to hear! :)