DO I WANT TO HAVE A SECOND BABY?

Motherhood
ago

london

Sooo let's talk about something super personal today. :) It's one of the most common questions I get: do I want to have a second baby? Now that Gabriel turned 1 a couple months ago I get this question almost every day, so let's get to it haha. I have to say it's something that I wonder about too with other people, because there just seems to be such a big difference between having 1 or 2 kiddos. So what about me? 

The truth is ... I don't know! Marcio & I pretty much always knew we wanted to have a family together, so that was kind of a no brainer. Before having Gabriel I always said I first wanted to see how a baby fit into our hectic lifestyle and then decide on having more babies. But now that he's here I still find it (surprisingly?) hard to make up my mind. There just seem so many things to consider! First of all, as you know, I had a pretty difficult pregnancy. I spoke very openly about those super challenging first 4 months, and though Gabriel is the best thing that ever happened to me, I haven't forgotten about it. It's definitely something that goes through my mind when considering another baby, I want to be very honest about that. Maybe people will find that selfish but I feel like self-care is a super important part of being happy, so having your life taken over like that isn't something I take lightly.

Further, I also wonder if it's true that having 1 is 1 but having 2 is a zoo! :) Gabriel is a super active baby (which I love) so I'm just not sure if another mini Brazilian would be compatible with our hectic lifestyle. This again may sound like a superficial thought (who prefers a career over family) but I've worked very hard to be where I am, and moreover, I LOVE what I do. To have to defend that thought: I'm kinda over it. It may be different for other people, but having kids is a very conscious thing for me. I'm a big believer of making your own happiness, and that you can do that in so many different ways - with or without kids. It still may be the 'norm' to want to have kids, but I perfectly understand that it's not necessarily for everybody, just like having more than 1 mini. I love the life we've built for ourselves and it's a dream to include our baby into all of world exploring, and I really don't want to jeopardise that.

So it's a real dilemma: on the one hand I love the idea of having a brother or a sister for Gabriel (he'd be the best big brother, plus I loved growing up with a brother myself!) and Marcio would definitely be pro (he originally wanted 4 kids, eeks! :)) but on the other hand I'm not so sure how it would work out practically and if it would the right fit for us. So hard! I also sometimes think: wouldn't I know for sure if I did want another baby? Isn't the fact that I'm doubting already saying that we should stick to one?

 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you have more kids and how did you experience the transition from 1 to 2? Do you think having an only child is more relaxed? I'd sooo love to hear! :)

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Wow! I love you are so open about it. Really respect that. I heard from plenty of peeps that 2 is a zoo indeed, mainly because with 1 you have the chance to focus all your attention to one tiny person while with a second one, you cannot do that anymore (you need to split your attention). It’s hard, I heard. I don’t think it’s selfish to not want a second one - or have doubts about it. I am a firm believer of choosing what you think is best for you - as an individual and couple. Because a happy mom and dad, is a happy family. It would not make any sense to opt for a second one while you actuall
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Geen gemakkelijke dingen he! Hier waren we pas weer aan het baby idee toe toen onze zoon 20 maanden was. Het idee dat hij over en jaar naar de kleuterklas gaat, zindelijk is, zelfstandiger zal zijn is nu beter te behappen, realistischer.
Wij hebben twee kleine kindjes. Ik was ook bang op voorhand dat mijn leven helemaal zou veranderen maar ik vond de stap naar kinderen vooral groot. Van 1 naar 2 vond ik véél minder ingrijpend omdat je dan al hebt leren organiseren, en je al een manier hebt gevonden om het concept kinderen in je leven te laten passen en jezelf eraan aan te passen. Ik ben ook echt fan van platte baby's dus vind het heerlijk om dit nog eens mee te mogen maken 😀. Bovendien vond ik mezelf bij de tweede veel chiller; met veel meer zelfvertrouwen zodat ik nog meer kon genieten van de eerste maanden. Maar uiteindelijk
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Leuk dat je erover hebt geschreven! Mijn mannetje is nu 2 jaar en 3 maanden en ik zit nu ook veel aan een 2e te denken. Aan de ene kant wil ik het nu al omdat ze dan wat meer aan elkaar hebben en samen kunnen spelen. Aan de andere kant willen we het aankomende jaar ook nog veel reizen maken.. maar ja als je nog 1 jaar wacht dan is het leeftijdsverschil tussen beide alweer 4 jaar.. de tijd gaat ook zo snel!
Ik begrijp dit volledig. Wij hebben ook een hardwerkende hectic lifestyle. Ook ik had challenging 4 maand. Ik was ook ouder. 42 bij bevalling. Voor ons is 1 voldoende. Ik heb veel respect vr de mama s van 2 en 3 kids maar vr mezelf zag ik dat niet zitten. Moest ik jonger aan kids zijn begonnen ... maybe.
It’s something you can also decide on when Gabriel is a couple of years older too. Two isn’t necessarily a zoo. They don’t stay little for long so the zoo wouldn’t be something that would be ongoing. It is a hard decision. Every pregnancy is different. Just because the first was hard doesn’t mean the second would be. Who knows, maybe the next one would be a girl! She’d be beautiful just like Gabriel! 👶
It’s something you can also decide on when Gabriel is a couple of years older too. Two isn’t necessarily a zoo. They don’t stay little for long so the zoo wouldn’t be something that would be ongoing. It is a hard decision. Every pregnancy is different. Just because the first was hard doesn’t mean the second would be. Who knows, maybe the next one would be a girl! She’d be beautiful just like Gabriel! 👶
Personally I don't have (yet) kids but my twinsister has 2 girls. It was definitely not easy with 2 small kids but after a couple of years it's so much easier. I saw that after the biggest got 4 and the smaller 2 they played together, hanged out together and as they got older (now they are 11 and 9) they are get on so well. Somehow I feel that if you are a mom for 1 you need to entertain that kid all the time or you need to take care of having him/her company. There is a blogger who has 2 kids and 3rd on the way and they travel the World aaaaallll the time. #couplegoals www.barefootblonde.com